


Forbidden Knowledge

by Jena Bartley (jenab)



Category: Star Wars
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 10:16:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenab/pseuds/Jena%20Bartley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This act was forbidden to the Jedi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forbidden Knowledge

Obi-Wan's hands trembled as he touched me. Almost as much as my hands do when I touch him back. His mouth is hesitant against mine, both our eyes open as we kiss. It is not just the newness and strangeness of touching another's body so intimately and with such feeling that makes our hands shake.

To touch another like this was forbidden to a Jedi. It was one of the oldest strictures the Jedi had, dating back to when we were little more than monks. A Jedi must keep his body pure in order to open himself up more fully to the Force. Attachments and even the most causal of sexual encounters serve only to muddy that connection and distract one from the will of the Force.

There are many old rules I have fought against and questioned when I could feel the Force calling me to act contrary to those rules. I have never regretted those rebellions for the Force had always guided my hand even when I did not understand where I was going. For the Jedi are an old order and some rules need to be challenged as they no longer had a place in this time.

But this rule was one I have never challenged for I saw no need to fight against it. Until the day I looked at my apprentice and realized what I felt for him went far deeper than it should, or when Obi-Wan looked back at me, his expression perfectly mirroring my own feelings.

We are Jedi. We should have been strong enough to acknowledge what was between us and learn to release our emotions into the Force. Not to end up tangled together on a tiny bed in an outer rim house, our bodies slick as we touched one another intimately, our hands hesitant but growing more sure as we gasped and writhed against each other.

This act was forbidden. It served only to weaken a Jedi's connection to the Force until he could no longer truly know what was Light and Dark within the Force. But I have never felt more connected to the Force than I do as Obi-Wan slid inside me. I could feel the Force flowing around us and between us, more vibrant then I have ever felt it before, full of the Light and nothing of darkness.

I am a Jedi. Do I have the courage to defy the Council in keeping Obi-Wan by my side as we are right now? Do I truly know that this is what the Force wants of us; for both Obi-Wan and I to change the very nature of the Jedi with our love? I have fought against the rules and the Council before but never against one of the most important and oldest edicts of the Jedi Order.

Is this truly the will of the Force or my own desire to love Obi-Wan as I do right now?


End file.
